Handling Disrespect

A Companion Resource Guide from Mind and Faith Matters

 

1. Core Scripture References

Use these verses for reflection and discussion:

  • Luke 6:45 – “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

  • Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

  • Romans 12:17–18 – “Repay no one evil for evil... If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

  • Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up.”

  • 1 John 2:9–11 – Hatred blinds and distorts our ability to respond with love.

 

2. Biblical Word Study

  • Timē (τιμή) - honor, value, or esteem (Romans 12:10). Respect in Scripture involves recognizing the worth that God gives others.

  • Phobos (φόβος) - reverence or respectful awe (Ephesians 5:33). This carries the idea of deep regard and deference born from love and humility.

Together, these remind us that respect begins in the heart, not in the tone of others.

 

3. Reflection: The Mirror and the Window

  • Mirror Response: Reflects what was given to you. When someone disrespects you, mirroring sends their tone back and escalates conflict.

  • Window Response: Releases what is within you. When your heart is filled with the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), what comes out is patience, gentleness, and self-control.

Ask:

  • What am I storing in my heart that comes out under pressure?

  • Am I mirroring others’ tone or letting what is inside of me guide my response?

 

4. Practical Communication Tools

From communication coaches like Convince with Vince and Jefferson Speaks:

  • “That’s not an appropriate way to speak to me.”

  • “If we can’t stay respectful, we’ll need to pause this.”

  • “I’m not okay with how that was said.”

  • Ten seconds of silence,  let them sit with their words.

  • “That’s below my standard of respect.”

These statements maintain boundaries without hostility. They communicate strength, composure, and self-respect.

 

5. Handling Disrespect in the Workplace

  • Pause before responding. A brief moment of silence keeps you from reacting emotionally.

  • Document patterns. In professional settings, keep a calm record of repeated disrespect.

  • Seek clarity. Ask, “Can you help me understand what you meant?” This shifts tension toward resolution.

  • Set standards. Calmly restate expectations for tone and collaboration.

  • Involve leadership when needed. Setting boundaries is not the same as rebellion; it is stewardship of your peace and professionalism.

 

6. Self-Reflection and Prayer

Reflective Questions:

  • What triggers my strongest emotional reactions to disrespect?

  • How does God want to reshape my response pattern?

  • Which fruit of the Spirit do I most need to strengthen right now?

Prayer:
“Lord, teach me to guard my heart and respond with grace when I am disrespected. Help me reflect your character through calm strength and words that bring peace. Amen.”

 

7. Recommended Resources

  • Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

  • Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande

  • Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler

  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero