#16 - Stronger Together: Fighting Men's Depression

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When I decided on today's topic it wasn't just

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because of an article that I read. It really

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is because of so many experiences that I've had

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in counseling others or helping people in the

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church or being with friends and sometimes in

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my own life. A lot of guys struggle with depression

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and most guys won't talk about it for various

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reasons that we'll go over today. but a lot of

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times we've been taught to tough it out and keep

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it inside. Welcome back to Mind and Faith Matters.

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I'm the host Dr. Cory Potter and today's episode

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is a little different, but it might be one of

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the most important conversations we'll have this

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summer. I do want to talk to you about something

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new. It's a special initiative for the month

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of July, but I also want to address something

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really important. You see the month of June is

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Men's Mental Health Awareness Month and I knew

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that and I decided that we can't just have one

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month where we worry about it. So I'm deciding

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to make July a continuation of June and so hopefully

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throughout the rest of the year somehow Men's

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Mental Health will be at the top of the list

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of things that people are talking about. So here's

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the deal. If you haven't heard yet, we recently

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launched a small merch line to help support the

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podcast. And so this special initiative I'm talking

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about today is connected to our store, which

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is located at mindandfaithmatter.com forward

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slash store. But more importantly, this initiative

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is about something that so many men are silently

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battling. It's about depression. And really it's

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about hope. So I've designed, and now you can

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grab some t -shirts, coffee mugs, and even a

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trucker's hat. And when I designed them, I provided

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a message that matters, such as being kind to

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your mind, for both men and women. Therapy is

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strength training. Listen like it matters on the front

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of a shirt and on the back it says you matter,

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your story matters, let's talk. And so when you

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wear this gear, you're not just supporting the

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podcast, which I appreciate, you're actually

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deciding to stand with men who need help right

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now. And now for the entire month of July, 100

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% of proceeds from every purchase will go straight

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to headsupguys.org. That's H -E -A -D -S -U

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-P -G -U -Y -S dot O -R -G. A place dedicated

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to helping men fight depression and prioritize

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their mental wellness. Every dollar counts and

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every purchase makes a difference. This isn't

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just about a store launch though. It's about

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building something together because men's mental

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health matters and silence isn't strength. Hope

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isn't something that's lost And it is worth wearing

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this month or drinking out of I don't know but

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the point of it is if we can support something

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Why not and why am I supporting heads up guys?

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Because they're one of the few organizations

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doing focused, powerful work specifically for

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men's mental health. In fact, they're the largest

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resource out of Canada, but they're the largest

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resource in the world for men's mental health.

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And they offer support, self -assessments that

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are scientifically backed, practical guides,

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and honest stories. I think the videos and honest

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stories are very impactful. Here's the great

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news. One, I'm not affiliated with them. They

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don't know I'm doing this. But all of these resources

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are designed for men. who are struggling, but

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maybe they're not ready to admit it yet. Here

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are some stats that they provide to tell you

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how compelling it is. So headsupguys.org says

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that only one in four men with depression ever

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seek professional help. That's hard to ignore.

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And men account for 75 to 80 percent. of all

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suicides in the US and Canada. And this is according

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to compiled research by heads up guys and national

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public health organizations. Suicide is the second

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leading cause of death for men ages 44 down to

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15, or the other way, 15 to 44. And this is based

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on the CDC and Health Canada. That's staggering.

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And let's let it sink in. We're not just talking

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about some guy out there. When we look at our

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whole crew, we're talking about our friends,

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our co -workers, our dads, our sons, the people

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we go to church with, and our brothers. maybe

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we're talking about you. So I had to ask for

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this episode what does depression actually look

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like in men? Because it doesn't always look like

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sadness and internalized symptoms. And according

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to heads up guys and multiple clinical studies

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men typically show external symptoms when they're

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suffering from depression. Things that we don't

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typically think of with depression. Here's a

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checklist and I want to tell you that I'm not

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diagnosing anybody, first of all. Second of all,

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if you need help, the assessments on the website

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can help you to know where you stand. And there

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are not only therapists on their website that

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you can try to find. There are several resources

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that are Christian based. on mindedfaithmatters.com

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under helpful resources getting help. Here

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are the symptoms the external symptoms that typically

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indicate that men are facing depression. Anger

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or irritability that feels constant. There are

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just some crabby people out there and if someone's

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always been crabby might be just a personality

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but truthfully I'm not making light of it. If

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someone's going through this consistent anger

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or irritability without necessarily knowing why

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their fuse is short, it could be more than stress.

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It could be depression. What about withdrawal

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from family and friends? Now, I do want to say

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this. Wives, I want you to know that if your

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husband's always been quiet and reserved and

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introverted, that does not mean he's depressed.

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It may mean that's his personality. So we're

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not trying to make everyone an extrovert but

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when someone is more than usually seen they're

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withdrawn from their family and friends and not

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just for a moment but it looks like a consistent

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thing that's a sign. Increased alcohol use or

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other substances working obsessively or taking

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reckless risks. I'll talk more about that in

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a minute. Physical symptoms that don't have another

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cause necessarily diagnosed or known such as

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headaches or stomach pain and even trouble sleeping.

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A lot of guys don't even realize they're depressed.

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As a guy you might just think I'm tired. Or I'm

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just off, which I've said that in my own life.

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Or it's just stress, which can be true. And there

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are resets that we can use and resources that

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are available for those things. But here's the

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thing, depression in men is often hidden under

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what looks like strength or busyness. You know,

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being the reliable one. So, this organization,

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Heads Up Guys, offers free, quick, and private

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self -assessments. Self -check quizzes. And they're

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made just for guys. There's no pressure. There's

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no judgment. It's just a simple way to get clear

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information about what's really going on. Even

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if you're not sure what's going on beneath the

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surface, the quiz might help you name it. So

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I had to ask myself, why do men show depression

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signs differently? Here's what mental health

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experts and researchers say. First, there's this

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idea of social conditioning. According to psychologist

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Dr. Levant, Ronald Levant, many of us are taught

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from an early age not to show emotion. Have you

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ever been told to just suck it up? Man up? or

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keep it together. So when sadness or anxiety

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hits, you just bury it. It gets buried. And this

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I know to be true. What we bury eventually comes

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out in other ways. It could be anger, workaholism,

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numbing behaviors, addictions, such as pornography,

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video games, gambling, things that numb us. It

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could even be just withdrawal. You just aren't

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interested in the things that you're typically

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were interested in. And then there's the brain

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science behind it all. A 2021 review in the Frontiers

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in Psychiatry showed that men's brains may process

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emotional distress differently. especially in

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how we regulate impulse and reward. We get very

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impulsive when things are going stressful or

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too much for us. And we really can seek immediate

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rewards and gratification. We don't have the

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constraint and we lack impulse control. It's

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proven in the brain. In the frontal lobe if you

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want to know. The prefrontal cortex in men isn't

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as developed as in women and I'm not making fun

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of it. I'm not saying anything other than this

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could explain why depression in men shows up

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as risk -taking, overworking, or substance abuse.

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And for many of us there's a real challenge in

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naming our emotions. Researchers call this alexithymia.

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Fancy word alexithymia. It's difficulty identifying

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or expressing what we feel, and it's common in

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men, especially those raised in environments

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that make space for emotional language unavailable.

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Like, you don't talk about your emotions, that

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type of thing. And when the University of Michigan

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adjusted their depression screening tools to

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include more male pattern symptoms, like irritability

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and avoidance, impulsivity, those things that

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I just talked about. The gender gap in depression

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rates nearly disappeared. So, yeah, men are struggling.

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And a lot of the common depression tools that

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are used by doctors' offices really look at those

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internalized symptoms and screen for those. So

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that's what I love about headsupguys.org. They're

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using up -to -date clinically backed assessments

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to help men realize what they're feeling. If

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you or someone close to you has seemed angry,

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numb, more distant, or more tired than usual,

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it might be more than just stress. It might be

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depression. And that doesn't mean you're broken.

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It doesn't mean you're weak. It just means that

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something's off and I want to let you know in

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a very clear message it's okay to talk about

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it. From a faith perspective, Jesus wept. David

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cried out in the Psalms over and over to God.

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The Apostle Paul admitted his weakness and desperation.

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The Bible isn't shy about emotions. for guys

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and God never asks us to bottle it all up the

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only scripture I'm going to share today on the

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podcast is Psalm 34 18 which says the Lord is

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close to the broken -hearted and save those who

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are crushed in spirit that verse is a promise

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worth testing I'm just putting it out there especially

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when life feels heavy If you're hurting, He's

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right there with you. He's steady. The Lord shows

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up for you, even when you don't have the words.

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He meets you exactly where you are, and He's

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close. So here's what to do next. I would love

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for you to visit mindandfaithmatters.com forward

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slash store and pick up something meaningful.

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Every purchase this July, like I say, helps fund

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real resources for men through Heads Up Guys.

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Next, I want you to check out headsupguys.org

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for the self -check assessments and their toolkits

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and other resources. Phenomenal. And remember,

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if you take one of these assessments, it's private,

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it's pressure -free, and it really is designed

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for guys just like you and I. Next thing I would

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love you to do is forward this episode to a guy

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in your life a friend a cousin Your roommate

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your crew Sharing this could be one of those

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things that help him. It might be the one thing

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that helps him feel less alone and if you yourself

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are struggling I'll say it again reaching out

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isn't a sign of weakness. It's one of the strongest

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things that you can do Talk to someone. A counselor.

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A pastor. A friend. Or reach out to me. Really.

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I mean it. Thanks for being here today. I want

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you to know that we're in this together. Let's

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fight for each other. This month let's wear our

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support. Let's normalize asking for help. And

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let's make July a continuation of men's mental

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health awareness. and make it a month of courage,

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honesty, and healing. I want you to know today

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that you're not alone, you're not too far gone,

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and you're never beyond God's help. And as you

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listen, ask yourself, how might God be inviting

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you to bring your struggles to Him today? And

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how easy could it be to take a quiet moment for

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yourself to check in? Until next time, take care

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and I'll talk to you soon.